What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What I have noticed is nearly every girl I try to connect with whom reject me are in their early 20s why is that the case?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Do you consider masturbating to porn cheating if you are married?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why does poop smell bad?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Are democrats eating crow?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

TEXT:

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Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.